Hello again!
Well, my life has been a little busy lately, which is why my blog hasn't been. A few minor things have occurred:
1. I turned 23! And I've decided that I think I am going to max out at 24 and not have any more birthdays (maybe 26 if I'm feeling ambitious)...
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| great birthday card from my 8yr old boy cousin :) |
2. After 5 years of living in Holland, I moved back home...
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| all of my material possessions are chilling in my garage right now |
3. I nearly rolled my Trailblazer on my way home from finals because I got a nail in my tire and it blew. Hopies, remember orientation when your OA group took you through that scenario where as soon as you graduated college, you died? Bah, I was a little freaked out...
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| My precious shredded tire. See how I'm holding the middle of it? |
4. I was officially pinned as a nurse!
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| sporting my traditional nursing pin |
5. I graduated from Hope College with a BSN in Nursing and a BA in Psychology - finally!
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| receiving my diploma from President Bultman! |
6. We got Alli all packed and dropped her off at the airport so she could head off to Vienna Summer School for the month of May...
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| Alli in Hungary - "the motherland." this photo is courtesy of Alli's facebook, I only wish I was actually there to take the picture :) |
So, now, FINALLY, I get some downtime to catch my breath and figure out what's next in life. Doesn't that sound relaxing??
Yeah, not really.
While it is nice to have a change of pace from cranking out papers, wrapping up internship and research hours, and planning for the finals few days of school, my mind is not settled. Sure my day may seem far less physically demanding, and that has been SO nice, but the ominous "future" is really starting to creep up on me.
So where are you living now?
So what are you going to do, now that you're done with school?
Have you found a job yet?
What kind of job do you want?
Where do you want to live?
Are you going to live by yourself, or with someone else?
Are you going to stay in the area, or go someplace else?
Do you have any future plans for grad school?
Are you prepared to handle the responsibilities of being a grown up?
I have a simple answer to all these questions:
bahhh!-I-am-not-really-sure-I-am-just-trying-to-figure-it-out-and-keep-my-head-above-water-at-the-same-time-and-I-know-God-has-a-plan-and-a-future-for-me-I-just-sort-of-wish-it-was-clearer-as-to-what-that-is-why-do-you-have-any-leads-suggestions-concerns-advice-or-information-for-me???
This is my life in a run-on sentence.
Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate everyone being so concerned about my future, and I do feel loved when I get asked these questions (and it's been happening A TON lately). I just often wish I had more concrete answers to deliver.
I am job searching, I am house hunting, and I am studying to pass my NCLEX-RN.
But I'm also going to Kylin's little league games, shopping for flowers at greenhouses, helping my mom out, working out in the mornings with my grandma, anticipating the return of Holland's farmers's market, prepping to be a bridesmaid in two weddings, and eating way more hot fudge sundaes than is healthy (as if even one hot fudge sundae could be!).
And I am just a little confused. I totally think it is okay to be doing these "but also's," but for some reason I feel like they are clashing with the "prep for future" options. My mind and my body is having a little bit of a hard time figuring out how to balance the "future" and the "right at this very moment."
Thank goodness I was at least partially prepped for this, albeit at the expense of a good friend's misery, as I saw this conflict play out. And maybe misery isn't the right word; it's just a weird struggle to deal with, and it can go haywire one moment and not even appear to exist the next.
What the best way to handle this? I know that totally living in the future "what if's" is not healthy, but does totally living in the moment seem like an escape route? Am I avoiding "growing up" if I live into the moment too much? Is there such a thing?
I guess I can be thankful that my mind is still churning rapidly, which means that it's not totally checking out and taking a HUGE test in the next 6 weeks or so won't seem like that much of a foreign concept :) And I am thankful that I have little reminders and times of rest where I am able to find harmony between these two opposites. So I know the balance is out there, it's just so difficult to maintain sometimes!
But I guess it's a whole new level of learning, one that I am thankful for, and one that I am going to make it through!
...and when I do have more concrete answers for you, I'll be sure to let you know :)
A few things I've been learning lately
- the Space Jam theme song is STILL a great song to work out to, thank you, iPod.
- the color from dyed flowers will drain from the plant back into the water if you put them in a vase
- losing control of your steering and riding the rim of hubcap while passing a semi at 70mph is not very fun.
- Irises can double as an Olympic torch.
- my arms are very inaccurate at measuring the weight of a suitcase.
- graduating with a class of 748 is very different than with a class of 19 (shocker there, I'm sure.) :)
- TOMS shoes are acceptable formal wear!
- words with friends is a super-addicting app
- Matthew 6:33, Romans 8:28, and Jeremiah 29:11 have whole new meanings after May 8, 2011.
Something to add to the bucket list:
road trip with my sister.
Until Next Time,
Andi
