Why hello again.
I wish you could smell these through your screen.
Really, I do, because they smell ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE.
...and they bloomed just when I needed them too.
I think it is so awesome the way God works. I started this blog as a way of creatively jotting down my raw thoughts, as a way to bring insight to some of the amazing things that are going on around us that we often are too busy to notice.
Well, who would have thought that I would need this blog more than anyone else.
Remember that hiatus I took in February? I mean, it wasn't too big of a deal, considering I had only posted twice before then, and clearly I haven't proven myself to be a very consistent writer since, but there was a break in there. Now, it's not that I didn't notice the amazing little things during that time, because I did, but there was a lot of hurt going on then that seemed to overcast them. Like I said before, I grew a lot and learned so much about myself during that time, and the repercussions of that month are still working in me now.
However, this is a blog about happiness.
But, as I have been reminded again this past weekend, you can find so much happiness and truth in pain if you let yourself be open to it and patient enough to find it. There's a take home message to every circumstance, a blessing behind every experience, a sunshine behind every cloud.
"Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either"
- Golda Meir
But we don't have to go at it alone.
Which bring me back to the hyacinths. (did you miss that transition? let me explain...)
I bought these hyacinths on Tuesday, after my housemate Melissa and I finally decided that we need to spruce up our house, since it was currently still experiencing post-Christmas blues. We all had been so busy during these first few months of 2011 that our house was feeling attention-starved, I'm sure of it. So I decided to go all out and buy this hyacinth plant from Meijer for a whopping 6.99, excited to have the wonderful spring smell to be wafting through the air shortly. I yelled "I have hyacinths! They're one of my favorite smells!" as soon as I got home. Then, after explaining to Izzy what a hyacinth was (love you anyways), she was very excited as well.
Now, while a may know a little bit about flowers and plants, I still wasn't sure when this plant was going to bloom, but I didn't think much of it, I just knew it would be worth the wait.
Then Thursday happened. Well, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday happened.
Let's just cut this short and say that Thursday wasn't the prettiest day of my life. So much so, that I canceled my plans for Friday, went back to Bangor, and just hung out with my thoughts and my mom all weekend. Those repercussions from before kind of got a second wind this past weekend, and I needed time to process.
Sunday afternoon rolled around, and I decided that I would be okay to head back up to Holland, get back into a routine, get ready for the week, etc. I was a little downhearted about the fact that I would be the only one in my house when I got in. But, soon as I walked through the door...
BOOM.
That spring smell hit my nose like the sweetest fresh breath of air. For a split second, all I could think about was the goodness that was now filling my house, and all my worries and fears and sadness were gone for a pause. It was wonderful.
Which lead to a spiral of thoughts about how wonderful things actually are. I remembered how excited I was for this moment to happen, and how it was here. Yes, I wasn't in the best situation right now, but there was still so much to be thankful for. Yes, I felt alone - but really I wasn't.
That hyacinth had promise to bloom and bring a sweet fragrance, and it came at a time when I would most appreciate it, because not only did the smell bring a smile to my face, it reminded of something much deeper - that God has promises abounding for me as well, and His promises are worth the wait.
I am one stubborn creature, and am starting to learn that I am a little bit of a control freak. I was reminded that I don't always know what God has up His sleeve, but I need to hold on to His promise, because He promises what is good for me. It's tough for me to swallow, but at the same time, I know that once I allow myself to let go, God will hold me safe in His arms.
So yeah, who would have known that "the little things in life" would be teaching me so much. That my greatest insights to life would happen from a cheapo plant from a grocery store.
I'm okay with that, though. It's cool.
Random things I have learned lately:
- I am never going to stop learning.
- Chobani yogurt is the cheapest at Hardings.
- Silver glitter TOMS are appropriate to wear with ANY outfit.
- but don't buy "Bobs," Sketchers rip-off Toms shoe...
- Deep fried macaroni-and-cheese tastes better with ketchup.
- John 13:7
Something to add to the bucket list:
memorize the book of James.
Until Next Time,
Andi